This Is Fucking Hard

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I'm So Confuse

Yeah,i'm so confuse right now.I dont know what should I do so that she will know that i'm doing this for her own good.Yeah you helped me alot,how can i forget about what have you done for me.But I hope that one day you will understand why am i doing this to you.I'm so sorry.

This Is Awesome

I dont know how to start.But one thing that im sure is i'm happy right now.Last night was awesome.Rhinos house is totally full of mainan which i cant get it at my house anymore.All of my friends had fun last night and all the kids imigination got into our heart and we acted so childish,but yeah.We had so much fun last night.Thanks to Rhino :)

Is This The End Of The World?

Nope.Its not ganna be the end of the world.I have enough.Being a physco is not my choice and yeah its a stupid decision that ive made.So yeah,I'll stop it and will let you go.Im so sorry for all the stupid things that ive done to you.And I will start a new me.And again I will rebuild all the missing part of myself.And this time, I'll love myself more than I love anybody out there.Till we meet again.

There Is No Tittle

 Theres something that ive made especially to this one person who always by my side :)

Although he/she will not view this blog which Im so sure about it.I write it because he/she dont care about any rewards by helping me.He/she just have a very kind heart that ive never seen before.

Tidak terkata apa yang aku ingin luahkan.

Tidak tertulis apa yang aku rasakan.

Tapi aku pasti bahawa engkau adalah kawan sejati.

Aku pasti bahawa kau takkan khianati persahabatan ini.

Engkau banyak menasihati.

Engkau banyak memberi.

Dan engkau banyak mengubati.

Aku sendiri buntu untuk membalas segala jasa yang telah diberi.

Aku tidak mengerti apa yang aku lalui.

Tapi engkau amat memahami.

Dan engkau sangat mengerti.

Dan engkau selalu disisi.

Satu yang aku perlu hayati.

Iaitu persahabatan ini.

Dan satu yang aku perlu sebuti.

Terima kasih *** ********.

Rintihan Jiwa Yang Ingin Menulis Tapi Tiada Motif

         Aku kelu terkilan dengan hatiku yang memberontak untuk mencoret tetapi tiada apa yang terbuku atau terlintas dalam kepala otakku.Apa yang ingin diluahkan adalah sesuatu yang aku tidak pasti.Misteri, itulah yang terjadi.Tangan ini tidak langsung mengerti apa yang perlu aku patuhi.Andrenalin ini membuak-buak bagai Gunung Merapi yang selalu meletus kini.Aku tidak sangsi bahawa sesuatu perlu aku tangani.Penyakit otak ini perlu aku ubati.Mana nak beli? Ubat yang sukar diperoleh.Yang aku tahu,Allah maha kuasa.Boleh menyembuhi segala duniawi.Aku ingin berhenti dari kehidupan ini.Tapi aku masih mencari.Mana jalan keluar dari bilik hidup ini.Dan aku temui sesuatu yang aku sedari.Tiada jalan keluar selain dari terus hidup didalamnya dan terus berusaha untuk hidup didalamnya.Sempit bilik ini kerana aku tidak teroka apa yang ada dalam bilik ini.Rupanya banyak yang ku belum ketahui.Terlalu luas dan tidak perlu aku keluar kerana segala yang indah ada disini.Cuma aku belum menemui perkara itu lagi.Bila.Itu aku tidak pasti.Tapi Allah itu maha adil.Serupa semua yang diberi olehNya.Cuma berbeza rupa dan masa.Akan ku teruskan hidup ini.Sampai aku mati.

Born To Love But Not To Be Loved

Today I realized something about myself.The truth that lies behind me for 17 years I've lived in this world.I WAS BORN TO LOVE BUT NOT TO BE LOVED.Yeah after all the hard work that I've done to secure all my relationships between me and my family,between me and all my exes.It will end up in a bad way.But I'll never stop trying.

The Fall

Yes,I know what I did yesterday was stupid.Yes, I know what I did yesterday will make you hate me.Yes, I know it was tough.But you are not the only one that has a heart.I do have my own heart.My own feelings.Sometimes I have to listen to my heart.And that was what I wanted.And now I have nothing to do with you.You lied to me and you got what you deserved.And now i can finally forgive you.And I hope someday you will forgive me for what I've done to you.Thank you for all those great memories.And I will not forget every second we have spent together.The greatest girl in my life.You will always be the one.The only one.But this is not the end of my life.I'll stand back on my own two feet again.To show you that I can live without you.To show  you that I can survive without you.To show that I can do well in my SPM.And I'll make sure that you will wear a handbag tiruan for a month.Till we meet again.With love. 

The Lie

After all my hard works.Finally it end up with knowing that ive been cheated for 2 months.Yeah its totally hurts.Damn hurts.Knowing the one you love doesnt love you anymore.And worst.She lies to you for two months.Upset,mad.That is what i feel right know.I wonder how can you stop loving somebody because of their attitude? You made your choice before.Its not a simple thing to decide.But you decided to love me.You have no heart.You dont know what im facing in order to make you happy.You dont know what ive done to secure our relationship.You dont know i what ive planed to show to you that your excuse before this is not a problem to me.But then.You lied to me.I can humiliate you here.But i choose not to.Because my love towards you will remain unchanged.

The 3Ds

DISCIPLINE

training to act in accordance with rules

DETERMINATION 
the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose.

DESIRE
a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment.
  

In order to get what I want.To chase my dream.I have to keep practicing the 3Ds in my life.

 

The Arising

This is the new me.The one who is trying to be the best at whatever i'm doing.To be more matured than i'm used to be.To understand the life.To understand the reality.To understand the fantasy.To understand peoples feeling.To think not only about myself but others too.To think better than anyone do.This is for my dream.

A New Story

        This is where i want to write.To express my feelings and do whatever it takes in order to reach my dream.People always say that my dream is to be rich.But they dont know what is in my mind and heart.My dream is not to be rich but  my dream needs me to be rich.And i'll do whatever it takes.And this is my story.